My Personal Everest

When I first joined Ravelry back in February, I spent a lot of time looking at patterns and projects that other people were working on. In doing so, I noticed a few trends. There are sock people, Clapotis people, Entrelac people, color work people, and lace people. There are probably a few more people that I can't think of right now, but you get my drift. Most knitters seem attracted to one specific type of knitting over others. They might dip their toes in a different style of project every now and then, but they always return to their favorite.

My "thing" is color work. I like doing stranded knitting. I'm not sure why it appeals to me, but it's a combination of watching the pattern build as I go along and using multiple colors. It interests me and I love the end product. Once I joined Ravelry, however, I suddenly had access to all sorts of different projects that I'd never really thought about before. It turns out that felting runs a close second to color work in terms of enjoyment for me. There's something really satisfying about knitting a large, grossly misshapen object and then watching it magically shrink into its proper shape at the end. Socks are fun because they're highly portable and a quick knit. I've decided I'm going to keep at least one sock on the needles at all times for traveling purposes.

Ravelry also exposed me to techniques that I've never thought about. I taught myself how to knit in the Continental style, learned several different cast ons and increases/decreases and finally get the importance of gauge. Go, me.

Everything has been positive for me except one: lace knitting. It's my personal Everest. I'm a reasonably intelligent woman, I've been knitting for more than 35 years and I can do almost anything I try...except lace. I really suck at lace. It started with the Branching Out scarf. It's so pretty, and Knitty assured me it was an easy lace pattern. Apparently, the Knitty editors have never met someone like me, because that scarf was the bane of my existence for two months. I finally finished it, but I never once made it through a single pattern repeat without have to rip it back. There was also the Reid Sweater. I think I had to frog and cast on that project at least three times, and still haven't gone beyond the first repeat. That project is in the naughty closet so it can learn how to behave.

Despite those set backs, I somehow thought I could knit a lace pattern in lace weight yarn. For those of you not in the know, lace weight yarn is like embroidery floss, only, you know, made out of wool or alpaca or something. Do you see the contradiction here? I can't knit a simple lace pattern from normal sized wool on a size US 8 needle, but I confidently believe I can easily knit a whole stole using thread and toothpick sized needles.

Needless to say, I have not been successful. I picked a lovely stole pattern called Print o'the Wave. I bought gorgeous alpaca lace weight yarn and used my new provisional cast on skills to cast it on. I never made it through a repeat. You know what happens when you knit with lace weight yarn? It looks kind of like a snarly mass. A more talented knitter might be able to frog back a row or two, but if I do it, I can't tell where to pick up the stitches. Also, my bamboo circulars? WAY too dull for lace weight. Of course, I cast on and frogged at least twice before I fully comprehended these facts.

I went on Ravelry. I carefully read through various tips for lace knitting. Did you look at the stole I'm knitting? The end product is so beautiful, it kept me working on the project. I learned that using Post-it notes on the chart will keep you on track. I read that Addi lace circulars are key to easy knitting. I also learned that threading a "life-line" through a row you know is correct will prevent you from having to frog all the way to the beginning due to the impossibility of seeing the stitches. Frog down to the thread and pick up the stitches! Whee!

I cast on again, worked the first row and threaded in the life line. This way, there is no chance I'll have to redo the somewhat cumbersome provisional cast on again. Go, me. I knit a few rows, counted every stitch across the purl rows and made it to Row 7 of the chart. I finally got my lace Addis, but I was so exhausted from all the frogging and painstaking counting that I just wasn't up to working on the project any more. Everything went into the project bag and I put it aside for two months.

I knit a pair of socks with a lace pattern with relatively few problems. Hey, sock weight yarn isn't that much thicker than lace weight yarn, so maybe I'm getting better! I worked out my own lace pattern for a pair of socks and am knitting merrily along on those. I think I'm ready for the stole again.

Yesterday I made a bunch of pretty little stitch markers. I came up with a plan to mark the end of each pattern repeat across the row so that I would know where each section starts in the event that something went wrong and I needed to count stitches. I pulled out the stole at 5 pm and worked a row to put it on the Addis. The knitting went so much more smoothly! I zoomed through rows 8-12, and on Row 13...disaster. Something was terribly wrong. Counting back did not reveal the mistake, so I knew I had to frog. Sadly, I didn't think to move up the life-line at any point, so I had to frog back to the VERY FIRST ROW.

I started up again. I thought to myself, this is actually a good thing because now I'm knitting on the really good needles and I can make sure my tension is more even. It will actually make the finished project look better.

I knit three rows and frogged back to the first row. I knit five rows and frogged back to the first row. I knit 6 rows and thought "Ha ha! I'm going to move the life line so that I can actually make progress!" Smart move, no? I also thought "I'm going to leave in the original life line just in case!" Good plan.

Here's where everything went wrong. Instead of spending the 1 minute it would take to look through my bag for more thread, I just pulled the bottom life line out a bit and cut it in half. There was plenty of extra thread hanging out both sides. I put in the second life line and knit up to row 11. Something went wrong. No problem, life line!

I ripped back to the second life line and noticed that it had pulled through the last 20 stitches or so. Good thing I have the first life line as a back up. Except that my first life line has also pulled through about a quarter of the stitches. It dawned on me that I was going to have to rip back the entire stole again and do another provisional cast on. I frogged the stole, rewound the yarn and put the whole thing back into the project bag.

When Jim came home from his guys' night out, I said "Do you want to see all the work I did on my stole between 5pm and 11pm?" I pulled out the empty lace needles. Jim said "Not going to well, huh?"

The Nintendo DS Has Been Located!

Call off the APB. I found the DS! Remember how I mentioned I thought the DS was not in our house? I found it completely by accident today in my car as we were pulling into the driveway. I happened to glance downwards and to the side and saw the case poking out from underneath Jim's sweatshirt, which has been in the car for, coincidentally, as long as the DS has been missing.

Jim and I are pretty sure that Lily was using the DS in the car and one of us then put it in the front before getting out at our destination. Just for the record, Jim told me several times this week that he searched my car, because that was one of the first places I thought of once it was pretty clear (to me, anyway) that the game was not in our house. Today he admitted he only looked on the floor in the back seat. I really should have looked in the car, too. Everyone knows that men are genetically defective when it comes to finding something lost because they have difficulty moving and/or looking underneath things! I really can't believe I didn't notice it all week, but I obviously didn't pick Jim's sweatshirt up off the floor!

I'm relieved that we found it because something else has gone missing. Jim took a brand new loaf of sour dough bread out of the refrigerator while I was at my all day crop on Saturday (Saturday was National Scrapbooking Day!). He advised me this morning that the loaf of bread was missing. He claims that he left it on the counter to thaw, used some of it for dinner last night and then put it in the bread basket we have on the counter. This morning, the basket was empty. We have looked in every cabinet in the kitchen, inside the oven and in the refrigerator and freezer and cannot find it. Jim queried whether the squirrel that's been eating all of our bird seed got into the house and snatched it! We both wondered whether someone was coming into our house and taking stuff or (eek!) living inside our walls like in that movie!

Jim thinks he probably accidentally threw the bread out or left it somewhere random in the house because he was "so busy making dinner and taking care of the kids" while I was gone. Since I spent another hour looking for the DS this morning, I'm confident that the bread is not in the office, living room, guest room, dining room, bath room or Lily's room. I haven't searched the basement or the upstairs.

Anyway, now that we found the DS I feel a little less like Jim's been trying to Gaslight me all week. Or like someone is living in the walls, playing Nintendo and eating sour dough bread!

Cookie Monsters

No explanation is needed for this post other than to say that the kids were eating butterscotch chip cookies during these photos, and they are both little hams. Enjoy!

The Graffiti Artist

As some of you may already know, Lily wrote each of our names on the seats and/or backs of our dining room chairs so we "would know where to sit." With a black GREASE pen. One of the knitting ladies suggested that I take a picture of them for posterity, because it is kind of funny in that "if only I didn't have to reupholster" way.

I took a picture of the one that said "Mama." Unfortunately, the writing has been washed and worn down a bit so it's hard to see (but not enough to avoid reupholstering):



Taking that picture gave me an idea of documenting her various graffiti efforts around the house. So, here is a gallery of her recent work. You will notice several recurring themes. The asterisk is popular, as is the repeated writing of her own name.

Angry Graffiti



In this piece, Lily was exploring her frustration with me after I sent her to her room. As you can see, she put her name in a box with a heart to show that she is good, and crossed my name out to show that I am bad. Crayon on painted plaster wall.

The Gatekeepers



In this piece, Lily has identified the people who are allowed to move the baby gate. They include Mama, Papa and Lily. Jack's name is notably missing from this work. Black pen on wooden gate frame.

Ownership I



This unfinished work explores the ownership of various items around the home. Lily wanted to show the world that Mama owns the lamp. but was caught midway through the piece. The blurring is a result of Jim's failed attempt to erase the magic marker and salvage what was a very expensive Pottery Barn Lamp. Marker on fabric lamp shade.

Ownership II



This companion piece to Ownership I shows that Lily owns the box formerly containing scented drawer paper. This piece was created prior to Ownership I, but was only discovered afterwards, thus explaining its out-of-sequence title. Marker on cardboard box.

Doorway



What a treat! This is a vintage piece, drawn at a time when Lily still confused the order of the letters in her name. Many scholars have attempted to interpret the meaning of the red symbol with little success. Marker on wooden door.

Art and Television



In this piece, Lily attempts to contrast the beauty and symbolism of art against the capitalism and consumerism of television. Or, she's just trying to make the TV look pretty. Marker and crayon on plastic TV case and glass screen.

It's My House



This sentimental piece shows how Lily thinks her home, symbolized by the doll house, is a beautiful place to be. Or, she just wanted to make the doll house look pretty. Crayon on painted plywood house.

Asterisk



A large, stark image of one of Lily's favorite symbols. Magic marker on pine panelling.


Happiness



The title says it all. Magic marker on painted wood door frame.

Under The Couch This Week

....not too much! It really must be weather related, because, while there was some clutter, it was NOTHING like what I usually find. Here's the list:

14 plastic marbles belonging to a game (various colors)
child's frying pan
Christmas themed mouse doll
6 big Lego pieces
plastic loaf of bread
wooden watermelon slice
one of our phones
umbrella cover
1 pair of underwear
1 girl's t-shirt
toy fishing rod
McDonald's American Idol figurine
2 crayons
2 small Lego pieces
a hair elastic
lamb doll
baby toy (must have been pulled out of the donation bag downstairs)
golf ball
instruction manual to the Zelda game for the Wii
worn out glo necklace (gift from the magician at the Dockside Restaurant)
jar of peppermint foot cream
cat shaped bath scrubby

See? Not so bad. Do you know what wasn't under the couch?

THE NINTENDO DS LITE! See more on this below.

Jim's Big News

I almost forgot to post this, bad wife that I am.

Jim received a Spot Award from his company! He was nominated "based on his outstanding effort during a recent trip to Basel," where he and his boss presented the customized software system that he's been working on for two years.

As I (vaguely) understand it, the purpose of the software is to keep all of the pathology departments worldwide in contact. He hopes it will create common practices as well as helping labs communicate their findings more efficiently. In Basel, he trained their pathology department on using the system and incorporated some of their ideas into the software to customize it even further.

This software project is something he's been working very hard on for a long time and something he's very proud of, so I'm really happy he won this award. He received $250 as a prize, too.

My House is a Black Hole

I have just spent an hour scouring my house for Jim's Nintendo DS Lite game.

Missing Item Report

Subject name: Nintendo DS game

Date of Report: Sunday April 27, 2008 Missing Since: April 26 or 27

Description: Shiny black plastic, last seen wearing a navy blue and black padded case and holding a white stylus. Known to be carrying Jim's mod chip and at least two games in its pocket when last seen.

Facts: Subject last seen by me recharging batteries on the kitchen counter. I believe this event took place last Friday. It was definitely before the weekend. Upon interview, Jim stated that he had last seen the subject sitting on the back of the couch during the weekend. Subject was not reported missing until Sunday evening, at which time this household officer did not take the report seriously. Many items go missing for brief periods of time and show up a few hours later. I don't consider an item officially "missing" until it's been gone at least 24 hours.

Upon interview, Lily stated that she did not know where the subject was and did not recall whether she had seen it or not. Upon interview, Jack stated "Papa game GONE."

Jim searched the home half-heartedly on April 27. Both Jim and I searched a little more thoroughly on several occasions between that date and May 1, 2008. I conducted a hard target search this afternoon, with no success.

Status: The game is really missing!

Seriously, this house is not that big. I've checked all of the kids' usual hiding spots: behind the couch, behind the chair, behind the radiators, in my knitting basket, in the storage drawers under Lily's bed (where I located the missing flashcards she's supposed to be working on), in the bathroom cabinets and in the TV cabinet. No game to be found.

My Household Officer instincts are telling me that the game was removed from the house by someone. I checked the car to see if Lily brought it with her on a ride somewhere, but it is not in my car. I've left a message with Jim to make sure he didn't bring it along with him somewhere and leave it at a friend's house or in his briefcase. Help! I'm running out of ideas! Maybe a masked intruder broke into our home and stole the DS?

My usual mantra in these cases is "It'll turn up." Things always do. But the DS has been missing for a long time now. Things usually show up in a couple of days.

There must be a secret kid hiding place that I haven't discovered yet. I'm off to look again, this time while cleaning up the house. Wish me luck! If you can think of any other places I should look, leave a comment. This is making me CRAAAAA-ZY!

PS: Thanks for the nice comments, both on here and in real life. I'm not going to let the haters get me down!