When Papa Is In Charge

This has been a very long week. Monday: hours spent dealing with the neighbor's (pretty serious) family problems. Tuesday hours spent waiting to see if those problems would be resolved without incident, to no avail. Wednesday: dentist appointment, ballet class, ballet photograph, and, in between, more hours spent waiting to see if the neighbor's problems were resolved without incident (they finally were). Thursday: Jack woke up early and really cranky and Lily refused to get dressed in outdoor clothing until 4 pm. Friday: hours spent organizing the office, shredding bank statements going back to 2000, organizing all of my knitting supplies, cleaning the living room, family room and kitchen, doing all of the laundry and running out to Wal-Mart for a few things. (Normally, I wouldn't have so many duties on a Friday, but a lot fell by the wayside this week).

No, I did not clean under the couch, but I had reason to move it out to look for Jack's binky and there was remarkably little debris under there! It's like the gods of the Undercouch are giving me a break after the last horror show.

Anyway, enough griping about my week. Now I'm going to gripe about when my husband is in charge of the kids.

Fact the first: Never let a 2 year old and 4 year old play in the garage unattended. This is what will occur, I promise you:



Jack found a paint roller loaded with Killz, which Jim had rolled up in a plastic bag and stored in the garage. Much painting fun then ensued. We tried scrubbing, but the paint dried too quickly.

Fact the Second: If you are dead set on getting out the wading pool in the middle of April, don't let said kids play around it unattended. This is what will occur:



They removed most of the sand from their sand table, and made mud in the driveway.



Someone threw giant rocks in the pool and ripped a hole in the bottom.




Lily took a bucket of bird seeds and threw them on the porch stairs, in the driveway and all over the back yard before Jim caught her.

Fact the Third: If said children are allowed to play in the pool, they will get very, very cold. Several neighbors will also comment on how early you are letting your children wade in a pool in their swimsuits. I'm just waiting for CPCS to show up to investigate the incident.

I want it on the record that I did object to the swimsuits and pool. I was told in a tone that brooked no argument that: (a) 65-70 degree weather is warm enough to swim in a pool; (b) it is an old wives' tale that children can get sick from being wet and cold; (c) it is also an old wives' tale that being wet and cold can lower a child's immunity and make him more susceptible to catching a cold; and (d) if the kids feel cold, they will tell him and get out.

I also want it on the record that when I took Jack in to get changed into dry clothes for his nap, he said "I get chilly outside with Papa." That accounted for his blue lips and uncontrollable shivering. Here's a picture of the kids later today -- please note that Lily is wearing a WINTER jacket.



During this time period, Jim also let our 8 and 10 year old neighbors come into the house with Lily to play Wii unattended. I have no problem with him letting the neighbors play at our house, or play Wii if he's with them, but I do have a problem when a toddler and young kids are allowed to roam my house at will with no supervision. Even the best behaved kids can get into trouble at that age.

I know I should have stepped in and supervised the kids, but I worked so hard yesterday, I asked for and was allowed some time off from kid watching. I should have known it was too good to be true.

In between all of the mischief and naughtiness, the three of them did get some home improvement work done. We have three new bird feeders:



Jim made this one!



We bought this one last weekend. Can anyone explain why all of the red coloring disappeared from the feeder?



Jim made this one, too!

Jim removed a portion of the vinyl siding and the wood looks pretty good. It turns out we have some nice cedar shingle under the vinyl. We are thinking about removing all of the siding and having the house painted this summer.

More Troubles with Gas

Remember how we had the gas company here? All day? Digging the giant hole in the street to fix the terrible gas smell?

Right. Well, after they left, an asphalt truck came and patched the hole. Not thirty minutes later, Lily said "I see firemen!" I looked out the window, and, lo and behold, the firemen were investigating the empty house next door. Again. The hook and ladder was at the end of the street. I opened the door to see what was going on and was hit in the face (there is no other way to describe it) by a wall of gas odor. As usual, the firemen ignored me and then left.

Jim drove down the street right after the hook and ladder left (he saw them driving down main street on his way in). I mentioned that the firemen had been here again. He said "The gas smell is even worse than it was before they "fixed" it." Those words were still hanging in the air as I watched a Keyspan truck drive up and park in front of the house.

It was like deja vu. The gas worker went next door, used his sniffer on the road and then knocked on the door. He said "Hello, I'm here..."

I interrupted him and said "Hello, Mr. Gas Man. Let me take you downstairs to look at my meter and the sewage line. Right this way." As he followed me, he said "Has someone else from the gas company been here?" I said "Why, yes. Two people, actually. And they spent the day digging a hole in the street, ostensibly to fix the problem." He seemed stunned. "Where did they dig the hole?" "Right in front of the house next door." By that time we were in the basement.

Per my usual routine, I threw open the door to the gas meter and removed the board covering the sewage line. I said "They haven't found any gas in the house here yet. They seem to think the problem is in the road. Where they dug the giant hole."

He says "I didn't see the hole." He sniffed around and didn't find any gas in our house. I said "Would you like to see where they were digging?" He followed me outdoors into the stench of natural gas. It was pretty dark, and the road is pretty messed up from the snow and ice, so I can see how he missed the giant square of newly paved road right next to his truck. Yeah. Whatever. I then went through the list of how many times the gas company and fire department have been to our street this week.

"How long was the gas company here today?" he asked.

"All day. Pretty much from 10:00 until 5:00 pm. The fire department showed up less than an hour after they left."

[NOTE: This is my favorite part of our conversation coming up]

"Were they driving a Keyspan truck?" No, they were driving a little car full of clowns. The clowns got out and dug a giant hole in the street and then paved over it. I'm so stupid, I thought it was the gas company. I think the orange wigs threw me off. Ooops! Sorry!

"Yes, they had a Keyspan truck. You know, the kind with the backhoe and digging equipment inside."

"Oh. Okay."

I shouldn't make fun of the poor man, because he's just the on-call guy and the fire department called him in without going through the gas company. Again. I guess the now overpowering gas smell really concerned him, because he made a few calls and the Keyspan truck with the digger and jackhammers came out again and dug an even bigger hole in the street around 7:00. This time, the hole was so deep the workers had to climb down inside it with a ladder. Jim had plans to get a drink at the Dockside Restaurant down the road with our neighbor Alex, so he and Alex walked over to the hole and checked it out before they left. Alex had to drive, of course, because the hole prevented Jim from taking his car out of the driveway.

The workers left about an hour ago. I'm afraid to go outside and smell the air. If they have to come and dig a third hole, it would be the width of the street, and that makes me a little nervous. You have to wonder...how safe are we if the fire department isn't communicating with the gas company about the issue on our street, and the gas company has to come out here and dig twice? And no one at the gas company who comes here seems to know anything about the previous calls....

Papa Breaking Dump Truck

For those of you who don't know, we've been having major gas issues here. No, no one is sick. We have a gas leak in the street in front of our house.

We noticed the gas smell on Saturday when we got home from our IKEA adventure. It was pretty strong, and it was close to the new home next door, which is currently unoccupied, so I called the gas company and reported it. That evening, when we returned from dinner at Friendly's, a female gas employee was checking our street. She checked our basement, gas lines and sewer line to make sure we had no problem, and then assured us the leak was in the street. Since it wasn't an emergency, she said someone would come to fix it within a few days.

I guess the smell got stronger that evening, because someone called Melrose Fire Department. I woke up around 1 am to see a hook and ladder at the end of the street, and a bunch of firemen trying to open a window at the unoccupied house next door. Eventually, another gas company employee turned up. He checked our basement again and reassured us that the leak was in the street. It turned out that MFD called him directly since he was the on-call guy, and he didn't know we'd already reported the leak and had it checked out.

We've had a few gas company representatives come by in the past week. Someone marked up the area where the leak seemed to be strongest. Someone came out from dig safe and marked where it was safe to dig. A couple people came out and took measurements. I guess it was all leading up to today, when they brought the big truck out.

Jack was thrilled. As you know, he loves trucks and construction equipment, so he stayed right by the window watching them work this morning. He has also learned "big" and "small" this week, so he was enjoying telling me that there was a big box truck and a smaller backhoe (that they keep in the back of the big truck). Because we've had a lot of snow and freezing rain lately, they spent the first part of the morning just clearing snow and ice from the areas where they needed to dig. By the time they got out the jackhammers, it was nap time for Jack.

As an aside, did you know that the gas company not only keeps a small backhoe in its truck, but has a giant mechanical arm that comes out through the truck doors carrying two jackhammers and the compressor hose? It was a pretty efficient set up. I enjoyed watching it almost as much as Jack.

But I digress. Jack went up for a nap, and after an hour and a half, I went up myself to read and wait for him to get up. Before I went upstairs, they started digging a huge hole in the street. It was about seven feet long and five feet wide. When I went upstairs, it was about three feet deep. After I got upstairs, I could hear the conversation between the workers outside (we still have an air conditioner installed in the window by our bed and it isn't very weatherproof). It occurred to me that, even though Jack was sleeping in the other room, he might be able to hear the noise. I guess he did, because once they started to use the backhoe to fill in the hole and tamp it down, Jack sat right up in bed and said "PAPA! NO!"

I went into his room and said "What's wrong?" He pointed at the window and said "Papa breaking KITE! No, PAPA! Papa breaking DUMP TRUCK!!!" I don't know why this made me laugh so hard, but I thought I was going to wet my pants laughing. The kite part cracked me up just because he is so hung up on that word. The idea of Jim breaking a dump truck outside also cracked me up. I guess Jack heard a man's voice and the loud noise and assumed Jim was using heavy equipment outside. He was clearly really distressed, so I took him right downstairs to the window.

He looked outside and said very sadly, "Ohhhhhhh. Dump Truck all gone." He didn't mention the kite. In reality, there never was a dump truck, and the "big truck" and "small truck" were still there. In fact, he wasn't that interested in watching them do what little work remained. I think Jack was a little put out that he missed Papa naughtily breaking a dump truck out on the street.