The Graffiti Artist

As some of you may already know, Lily wrote each of our names on the seats and/or backs of our dining room chairs so we "would know where to sit." With a black GREASE pen. One of the knitting ladies suggested that I take a picture of them for posterity, because it is kind of funny in that "if only I didn't have to reupholster" way.

I took a picture of the one that said "Mama." Unfortunately, the writing has been washed and worn down a bit so it's hard to see (but not enough to avoid reupholstering):



Taking that picture gave me an idea of documenting her various graffiti efforts around the house. So, here is a gallery of her recent work. You will notice several recurring themes. The asterisk is popular, as is the repeated writing of her own name.

Angry Graffiti



In this piece, Lily was exploring her frustration with me after I sent her to her room. As you can see, she put her name in a box with a heart to show that she is good, and crossed my name out to show that I am bad. Crayon on painted plaster wall.

The Gatekeepers



In this piece, Lily has identified the people who are allowed to move the baby gate. They include Mama, Papa and Lily. Jack's name is notably missing from this work. Black pen on wooden gate frame.

Ownership I



This unfinished work explores the ownership of various items around the home. Lily wanted to show the world that Mama owns the lamp. but was caught midway through the piece. The blurring is a result of Jim's failed attempt to erase the magic marker and salvage what was a very expensive Pottery Barn Lamp. Marker on fabric lamp shade.

Ownership II



This companion piece to Ownership I shows that Lily owns the box formerly containing scented drawer paper. This piece was created prior to Ownership I, but was only discovered afterwards, thus explaining its out-of-sequence title. Marker on cardboard box.

Doorway



What a treat! This is a vintage piece, drawn at a time when Lily still confused the order of the letters in her name. Many scholars have attempted to interpret the meaning of the red symbol with little success. Marker on wooden door.

Art and Television



In this piece, Lily attempts to contrast the beauty and symbolism of art against the capitalism and consumerism of television. Or, she's just trying to make the TV look pretty. Marker and crayon on plastic TV case and glass screen.

It's My House



This sentimental piece shows how Lily thinks her home, symbolized by the doll house, is a beautiful place to be. Or, she just wanted to make the doll house look pretty. Crayon on painted plywood house.

Asterisk



A large, stark image of one of Lily's favorite symbols. Magic marker on pine panelling.


Happiness



The title says it all. Magic marker on painted wood door frame.

Very Little Under The Couch This Week!

Imagine how amazed I was when I pulled out the couch and saw this:



That, to me, is a normal amount of stuff that would accumulate under a couch in the space of two weeks. I thought maybe the amount of outdoor play this week was making a big difference...

...until I saw this:



Apparently, someone has stopped throwing things behind and under the couch and has started throwing them behind the chair.! I did notice that Jack's toy bin was a little low this week, but I foolishly thought Jim had pared it down by taking some stuff down to the playroom. The little pile of stuff behind the chair reminds me of a squirrel's secret store of nuts. Which would make sense, since I sometimes believe Jack is a little nuts.

I'm pretty sure it's Jack, but the thought did cross my mind that Lily might be tossing his toys down there to annoy him. I'm going to have to keep my eyes open and see who the culprit is!

Minor Technical Difficulties

In other words, I've been Jacked! I have a nice, long draft post saved. It is waiting for some lovely photos of our yard and garden. Sadly, I have been looking for the cord for my camera for the last few days. I cannot download photos without it. I have been storing it in my odds and ends basket by the couch in a plastic bag to keep it coiled up. Jack pulled everything out of the basket on Thursday of last week. I noticed on Friday that the cord was missing!

Is it under the couch? I pulled it out to look and, amazingly, there is not too much under there this week. Basically, I have no idea where it is. Jack seems to have "disappeared" it! There will be no more photos until I either find it or get another cord to replace it.

Just So I Don't Kill Him

I try very hard to make this blog about me and the kids, with the occasional funny story about Jim. I think I've followed that rule pretty successfully up until now. Today, I am going to rant just a bit.

It has not been a fun morning in our household. The kids are peevish from lack of sleep (all four of us were in one bed last night). I'm peevish from lack of sleep. As a result, when the kids wanted to play in Lily's room, I was happy to let them go. And then...silence. I am angry with myself for not checking out the cause of the silence immediately, because I should know better. Sadly, I continued to update my blog widgets and peruse patterns on Ravelry. After about 10 minutes, however, I thought it behooved me to check on them.

They were not in Lily's bedroom. They had decided it would be more fun to play upstairs in my room and Jack's room. I called up the stairs and asked what they were doing. Lily said "We'll be right down, Mom. C'mon, Jack."

Those words sent chills down my spine. I practically sprang from the first floor to the second in a single bound. The upstairs was messy. The kids had pulled out a lot of Jack's stuffed animals and a few of Lily's, and they were lying around the room like casualties on a battle field. All of the pillows were on the floor, and there were several long pieces of what looked like accordian pleated plastic wrap lying around. Annoying, but a mess is easy to clean.

And then, there was the smell. A fruity smell. I asked Lily what the smell was and she said "We just washed our hands with some soap."

Me: "What soap?"

Lily: "I'll go put it away."

Me: "What soap are you talking about?"

Lily: "The shampoo soap you bought yesterday." She ran off and came back with the bottle of shampoo, now more than a quarter empty. I lectured her and told both kids to pick up the mess and get downstairs. I went down and put the shampoo in the cabinet. Where it belongs. Where the kids can't reach it. Where Jim failed to store it last night after bath time.

And...I noticed the brand new bottle of Mr. Bubble Bubble Bath was missing. Again, I sprang like a gazelle up the stairs and looked wildly around. I noticed nothing unusual, so I begin to interrogate the kids.

Me: "Where is the bubble bath? Did you take that, too?"

Lily: "I decided to hide it."

Me: "Where?"

Lily: "I'm a very curious child." Giggle, giggle, giggle.

Me: "Where. Is. The. Bubble. Bath."

Lily: "I used some to wash my stuffed animals."

Me: "Did you use it all? Where is it?"

Lily: "There's a little left."

Me: "GET THE BUBBLE BATH. NOW!"

Lily: "Here it is." She had hidden it in the drawer under Jack's crib. It was partially open and lying in a cardboard box.



The cardboard box was drenched with soap. Upon closer inspection, there were several animals and pillows drenched with soap as well. The bubble bath? That I bought yesterday and we used once last night? Empty. Because Jim failed to put it in the cabinet, where it belongs and where the kids can't reach it.

Now, I know I share the blame, because I should have immediately looked for the kids when everything went silent. Silence = Very Bad. But I have more, oh so much more to rant about.

I was annoyed by the shampoo/bubble bath lollapalooza, but, mindful of my own contribution, I managed to remain calm. I hauled the kids downstairs so that I could keep them under constant surveillance, and went into the kitchen to make some breakfast for myself. I opened the refrigerator and grabbed some bagels and then looked for the cream cheese.

When I opened it, this is what I found:



That's right, there is barely enough cream cheese to cover half a bagel, never mind two entire halves. Someone had replaced a near-empty container of cream cheese in the refrigerator. Up high. On a shelf that our children cannot reach. I know it wasn't me.

I was also treated to this lovely vision after I moved the cream cheese container:



Doesn't it just make you crave a banana? And right next to that, I noticed a second container. I opened it and this is what I saw:



Yes. Jim made pizza two nights ago and decided he Just. Couldn't. slice up the last TWO olives and put them on the pizza. I guess he figured it was more important to save those two olives by shoving them into the back of the refrigerator in their container. Since neither of us drink martinis, I am not certain what he believed we would do with these two olives. Maybe they would be serve as an amuse bouche? A little midnight snack?

The little seed of annoyance sprouted into a small sapling of rage. That is when I decided to write about it in order to avoid pelting Jim with the two olives and rotting banana when he walked in the door. Mission barely accomplished.

Epilogue: While I was writing this post, Lily took her brother into the kitchen with her where she told me she was getting a drink. In fact, she removed the bubble bath container from the trash, squirted the last few drops into Jim's partially filled orange juice glass from this morning, added a dash of water and gave it to Jack with a straw in it. He, of course, took a big sip. Apparently, bubble bath doesn't taste so good, and makes you drool and gag bubbles. He had his revenge, though. Lily let him go with her to water her lettuce seedling later on and he threw the little pot to the ground, where it broke into a million pieces and splattered dirt everywhere.

I can't believe it's only 2:27 pm.

Life Is Never Easy

We've had a, shall I say, interesting week so far.

On Monday, we went to the Children's Museum. Despite the fact that I asked Lily repeatedly whether she had to go to the bathroom, she ended up holding it for too long and she accidentally peed on the floor in one of the exhibits. Sigh. We ended up leaving about an hour after we drove in.

On Tuesday, I was all set for my "day off." Things could not have worked out better. Jim had done the week's grocery shopping the night before, and I had gotten a lot of the weekly cleaning done on Monday when Jack was napping and Lily was playing at the neighbor's house. I cast on a seamless Icelandic sweater this weekend, and I needed a larger circular and a smaller circular. I dropped the kids at school around 8:30 am and came home to do some work. Then I took a leisurely drive to two different yarn stores to pick up the new needles. When I got home, the phone was ringing. It was Jim. It turns out that Jack and Lily's school lost power, and then a terrible smell was coming from the heater, leading them to believe there may have been an electrical fire! They were asking all parents to pick up their kids. By 11:00 am, I was back at home with two kids who were bouncing off the wall because their schedules were interrupted. A very long day ensued.

Today, Jack inexplicably awoke just before 5:00 am and demanded milk. I took himn downstairs so he wouldn't wake up Lily and Jim. As a result of his early day, he was falling asleep by 10:00. That would normally be fine, but today is Lily's ballet day, and he always naps after we get back from class so his nap won't be interrupted. It was too painful to watch him drowsing, so I took him upstairs where he proceeded to laugh and play for 45 minutes.

When we got to ballet, he was so overtired that he was running and throwing himself on me repeatedly. Then he started crawling under everyone's chair. Periodically, he would get in my lap and almost drowse off. Then he would jerk himself awake and start rampaging again.

At home after class, Lily had a very messy accident in the bathroom. I will not horrify you with the details. Suffice it to say that she was too embarassed to tell me at first and she tried to clean up the mess herself. I ended up hosing down all of her clothes in the shower along with a bath towel, and mopping the floor. Ick.

Just now, I brought Jack down from nap, only to see Lily trying to hide one of the down throws in the office. She then advised me that the throw "accidentally got cut." I asked why and she admitted "I wanted some feathers." It looks like I will have some darning to do this evening. Fortunately, she doesn't seem to have gotten many feathers out.

Jim just called to say he's on his way home. Hallelujah.

May Today Be a Better Day

Yesterday evening was rough. Jack knocked an entire glass of milk onto the kitchen floor and then later used his broom as a bat and took swing at my glass of iced tea on the table. It went flying and the glass broke into a million pieces. Did I mention that he broke three of these glass last week by throwing them on the floor? No? Did I mention that I had just replaced said three glass yesterday morning at IKEA? Yep. Now I am one glass short. Again.

While the whole iced tea/glass mess was going on in the dining room, Lily was in the kitchen kicking the basement door with her heels and screaming "Argue! Argue! Argue!" over and over at the top of her lungs. What, that seems odd to you? Let me explain. Lily got mad on the way home from school because I told her that I bought bins to organize the clothes in her closet. See? Doesn't that explain the 45 minute temper tantrum that led to her time out in the kitchen? Seriously, what kind of a mother would buy bins and organize clothes? Making it so one can look in the shirt bin and, lo, find a shirt! is just EVIL. And mean.

Annnnnnyway... the evening was difficult. This morning, at 9:11 am, all appears to be calm so far. I'm a little nervous that things will degenerate into the hell that was last night. Will keep you all posted.

The Faster I Go, The Farther I Get Behind

Yesterday, I had big plans to clean out the second closet in Lily's bedroom, which was packed full of my business attire and other clothing. After I did that, I was going to shred the three bins of old paperwork in the office and organize and file all of the other random stuff that has showed up in the last couple of weeks. I also planned to simultaneously do the laundry that's been piling up since I got sick.

Right. Yesterday, I cleaned out the closet. It took me almost 3 hours, because I had to deal with two children who would not stay put in the playroom and wanted to "see what you're doing, Mom!" I also had to deal with "Why are you throwing THAT away? I need that!" and "MILLLLKKK! Mama, MORE MILLLLLKKKKK!" I ended up throwing some stuff on the newly cleaned top shelf, and promising to go through it and organize later. I never got to the shredding or filing. I did one load of laundry (and I realized this morning it was set for the lowest water level, so I don't even know how clean the clothes got).

Today, I woke up with a plan to clean and declutter the living room and dining room, shred the paperwork, file and organize and do the laundry. Today, Lily would not put on her ballet outfit, Jack dumped an entire container of yogurt on the carpet, chair and couch before I could stop him, and I ended up agreeing to watch Emma while her parents went to an appointment at 2pm. In the midst of that, our freezer stopped working and started leaking water onto the floor. I had to clean the kitchen up before the repairman came. He just told me that they don't have a replacement part for me and if he can't find one in one of their floor models at the store, it may be 3 or 4 days before we have a working refrigerator. Terrific.

I did do two loads of laundry this morning and I was able to vacuum the rugs in the living room and dining room. I had picked up all the toys, but Jack immediately walked over to the bin and dumped everything out so he could find his hot wheels.

So...my plans for tomorrow are:

1. Go to IKEA in the morning to buy boxes, baskets and folders to organize the stuff in the office and from Lily's second closet. I also need to buy a coat rack. I'd planned to do this trip on Thursday because Lily is in school.

2. Organize the pile of stuff thrown on the top shelf of Lily's closet into labeled boxes.

3. Sort, organize and file the things that have turned up in the office over the past few weeks.

4. Shred the three cartons of paperwork in the office.

5. Take the clothes from Lily's second closet (2 garbage bags full!) and drop them at Salvation Army.

6. Declutter the living room and dining room. By this, I mean that I hope to either throw away, donate or find a home for anything lying on a flat surface in those two rooms.

7. Wash and fold any laundry that I don't finish today.

8. Deep clean the kitchen and bathroom (my usual Thursday chores).

Obviously, I'm not going to get anywhere close to completing all these things. What I really need is a week at home alone without kids. That would catch me back up to a normal level of cleanliness and order.

Arrghhh!