Given that I'm more organized as a SAHM this year, and given that I'm doing so much knitting, Jim and I agreed it would be a good plan to give as many handmade gifts this year as possible. As a result, with a few exceptions, if you're on my Christmas list, you are probably going to get something I knit.
It all seemed like such a wonderful plan back in March or April when I first hatched it. I immediately made one project and enjoyed myself quite a bit. And then, as I got more into the pattern archive on Ravelry, I started to get sidetracked by projects that looked fun. Hey! A felted knitting basket! That looks fun! Hey, a skull and bones hat! That looks fun! Hey, a funky cardigan made from a circle! That sounds fun! It was sort of like I had knitting attention deficit disorder. Show me a shiny new pattern and I lose my train of thought and buy the yarn.
And so I went merrily along until the Seed Stitch sale a few weeks ago. Since they were offering a lot of yarn at 50% off, it seemed like a good idea to buy whatever I needed for my remaining Christmas projects at the sale, if possible. In order to figure out what I needed, I had to sit down and make a list of all of the people who are getting knitted gifts and what I was planning to make for them. Doing so made me realize that I've only finished 2 Christmas projects!
I am knitting for 10 people. I have only finished 2 projects. It's almost August. That means I need to complete 8 projects in 4 months (I'm not counting December because if I rely on that, I'll still be knitting right up to the deadline).
Panic set in. I have been knitting like a madwoman for the last two weeks. Today, I finished Project Number 3 and Project Number 4 should be finished tomorrow. That means I will need to finish 6 projects in 4 months. I think I can do that...I hope.
Anyway, all of the yarn is in my stash and all of the patterns are ready to go, so I'll just be cranking them out like a knitting machine (I hope). I'll keep you updated!
Monday, July 28, 2008
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Road Trip
Remember back in the day when you and your pals used to pile into a car and head out to another state for some fun. Road trip, dude!
Well, I went on a road trip today. It all started a few weeks ago when one of my friends mentioned the annual Knit and Crochet Show in Manchester, New Hampshire. She'd been by herself last year and wanted some company this year. I immediately volunteered. Yarn shows and festivals are a lot of fun. You get to see, feel and smell fibers that you might have seen on the internet, but couldn't find locally. The people are generally friendly and helpful, and you run across knitting related fiber stuff you never even heard of.
About a week or so after the initial decision to go to the show, Jim started the nightmare car buying process. When I realized last weekend that we would actually have the car by today, I offered to drive. I thought it would be more like a college road trip that way -- three girls in a sporty little car heading out on the highway for some shopping adventures.
A few days ago, one of the girls mentioned that a wonderful yarn store in Nashua, New Hampshire called Ewe'll Love It! was moving its venue and having a 30-50% of sale to try and reduce its stock. Of course, my response to that was "How far is Nashua from Manchester? Can we do both?" Happily, we could!
So, at 8:30 this morning, I hopped into the Dorkmobile and headed off. My first stop was at Dunkin' Donuts for the requisite giant iced tea (I'm apparently a sucker for advertising and now believe I run on Dunkin' Donuts iced tea). I rolled up to the window to order and realized I had NO FREAKING IDEA how to open the window. There was no handle to roll it down manually. There was no button on the window. The girl at the register was looking at me like I was an idiot as I frantically searched for a button, switch or something to get the window down. I finally located a small button in front of the stick shift and got the window open, but not before a few cars had pulled up behind me. "Ha ha ha, it's my husband's car," I said feebly. I finished the drive through with no further incidents and headed onward.
I should have recognized the window incident as an omen of things to come. After I picked up the girls and we stashed some extra bags in the car boot (that's what the Mini manual calls it), we hit the atm machine and then I got on the highway. About 2 minutes later we heard a beep.
I was already familiar with the beep because it goes off when you don't wear a seatbelt. Everyone in the car was belted in, however. Then I noticed a small glowing circle on the speedometer. There was the symbol of what looked like a butt with spikes on the bottom.
"What does that mean?" I asked. One of the gals pulled out the manual and said "It's a flat tire warning. It says here 'Stop driving immediately.'" Oh GREAT.
I've had flat tires before. Usually you can tell by the way the car drives that something has gone wrong, but there was nothing different about the way the car was handling. We debated for a few minutes whether we should ignore the gauge (yarn road trip, remember?) or turn back. I pulled off at the next exit and we all got out (like clowns tumbling out of a clown car) to look at the tires. They looked just fine to me.
"Maybe now that you've turned the engine off, the warning light will go off." Nope. Warning light was still on. I found a little button next to the stick shift (why are there so many little buttons next to the stick shift in this car?) that had the spiked butt symbol on it and tried pressing it a couple of times. No change.
Since we've only owned the car for a little over 2 days, I ultimately felt it was prudent to drive back to the home of one of my fellow passengers, dump the Dorkmobile and take another car. Since we'd only driven about 3 miles from our original destination, this plan did not take long to execute. When we arrived to switch to another car, I looked at the tires again -- still no difference.
Fortunately, our little detour did not prevent us from arriving at the sale shortly after the store opened. We all bought a goodly amount of sale yarn and some regularly priced yarn, too (who could resist?) One of the gals got some gorgeous Blue Heron Rayon Metallic, but it was only because I somehow missed seeing it first. I'd like to think I would have had the restraint not to buy it, but I'm probably fooling myself on that account.
Next stop, yarn show. There were a lot of interesting booths. One booth had giant knitting needles (the size of a small baseball bat!) and giant yarn for sale. The Habu had a new type of yarn made from silk and stainless steel. I'd heard about it, so it was fun to touch it and see how it felt (a little stiff, frankly). Another booth had clear rubber boots for children, designed so you could see their lovely handmade socks through the boots! And then, there were a lot of gorgeous hand-painted yarns and beautiful luxury fibers. There was a whole lot of petting, stroking and cuddling of yarn going on.
The highlight of the day? We met Jess and Casey, Mama and Papa Rav! (The people who founded Ravelry). They are nice couple, and both are very friendly and sweet. At the yarn show, Jess and Casey were a little like two rock stars. One of the vendors came over and asked them to autograph her receipt booklet! We picked up some Ravelry buttons and a "daily dose of fiber" sticker from Jess, and I thanked Casey for programming such a great site.
I've already put all of the new yarn into my stash, but it will be a few days before I have time to photograph everything. I did get some funky hand-dyed nylon for making a really cute purse. I'll probably post pictures of that if I actually get to it in 2008 -- the Great Knitted Christmas Gift Marathon has begun and I'm going to try to focus only on knitting gifts until I've finished everything on my list. We'll see how long I manage that.
I'm working on a very cute Noro hat right now that's almost done. It's a great pattern for brainless knitting. More on that and other works in progress at a later date. Oh yeah, I got some awesome beads to make stitch markers for my store! More on that later as well.
Finally, because I promised my friend Kelly:
GETTING MARRIED? NEED DESIGN HELP? Get some awesome wedding related items at Busy Bride Designs. Kelly will help create a customized look for your wedding without busting your budget. She's got some monogram designs up already and I happen to know she has a lot of other great wedding designs and favors in the works. Check it out!
Well, I went on a road trip today. It all started a few weeks ago when one of my friends mentioned the annual Knit and Crochet Show in Manchester, New Hampshire. She'd been by herself last year and wanted some company this year. I immediately volunteered. Yarn shows and festivals are a lot of fun. You get to see, feel and smell fibers that you might have seen on the internet, but couldn't find locally. The people are generally friendly and helpful, and you run across knitting related fiber stuff you never even heard of.
About a week or so after the initial decision to go to the show, Jim started the nightmare car buying process. When I realized last weekend that we would actually have the car by today, I offered to drive. I thought it would be more like a college road trip that way -- three girls in a sporty little car heading out on the highway for some shopping adventures.
A few days ago, one of the girls mentioned that a wonderful yarn store in Nashua, New Hampshire called Ewe'll Love It! was moving its venue and having a 30-50% of sale to try and reduce its stock. Of course, my response to that was "How far is Nashua from Manchester? Can we do both?" Happily, we could!
So, at 8:30 this morning, I hopped into the Dorkmobile and headed off. My first stop was at Dunkin' Donuts for the requisite giant iced tea (I'm apparently a sucker for advertising and now believe I run on Dunkin' Donuts iced tea). I rolled up to the window to order and realized I had NO FREAKING IDEA how to open the window. There was no handle to roll it down manually. There was no button on the window. The girl at the register was looking at me like I was an idiot as I frantically searched for a button, switch or something to get the window down. I finally located a small button in front of the stick shift and got the window open, but not before a few cars had pulled up behind me. "Ha ha ha, it's my husband's car," I said feebly. I finished the drive through with no further incidents and headed onward.
I should have recognized the window incident as an omen of things to come. After I picked up the girls and we stashed some extra bags in the car boot (that's what the Mini manual calls it), we hit the atm machine and then I got on the highway. About 2 minutes later we heard a beep.
I was already familiar with the beep because it goes off when you don't wear a seatbelt. Everyone in the car was belted in, however. Then I noticed a small glowing circle on the speedometer. There was the symbol of what looked like a butt with spikes on the bottom.
"What does that mean?" I asked. One of the gals pulled out the manual and said "It's a flat tire warning. It says here 'Stop driving immediately.'" Oh GREAT.
I've had flat tires before. Usually you can tell by the way the car drives that something has gone wrong, but there was nothing different about the way the car was handling. We debated for a few minutes whether we should ignore the gauge (yarn road trip, remember?) or turn back. I pulled off at the next exit and we all got out (like clowns tumbling out of a clown car) to look at the tires. They looked just fine to me.
"Maybe now that you've turned the engine off, the warning light will go off." Nope. Warning light was still on. I found a little button next to the stick shift (why are there so many little buttons next to the stick shift in this car?) that had the spiked butt symbol on it and tried pressing it a couple of times. No change.
Since we've only owned the car for a little over 2 days, I ultimately felt it was prudent to drive back to the home of one of my fellow passengers, dump the Dorkmobile and take another car. Since we'd only driven about 3 miles from our original destination, this plan did not take long to execute. When we arrived to switch to another car, I looked at the tires again -- still no difference.
Fortunately, our little detour did not prevent us from arriving at the sale shortly after the store opened. We all bought a goodly amount of sale yarn and some regularly priced yarn, too (who could resist?) One of the gals got some gorgeous Blue Heron Rayon Metallic, but it was only because I somehow missed seeing it first. I'd like to think I would have had the restraint not to buy it, but I'm probably fooling myself on that account.
Next stop, yarn show. There were a lot of interesting booths. One booth had giant knitting needles (the size of a small baseball bat!) and giant yarn for sale. The Habu had a new type of yarn made from silk and stainless steel. I'd heard about it, so it was fun to touch it and see how it felt (a little stiff, frankly). Another booth had clear rubber boots for children, designed so you could see their lovely handmade socks through the boots! And then, there were a lot of gorgeous hand-painted yarns and beautiful luxury fibers. There was a whole lot of petting, stroking and cuddling of yarn going on.
The highlight of the day? We met Jess and Casey, Mama and Papa Rav! (The people who founded Ravelry). They are nice couple, and both are very friendly and sweet. At the yarn show, Jess and Casey were a little like two rock stars. One of the vendors came over and asked them to autograph her receipt booklet! We picked up some Ravelry buttons and a "daily dose of fiber" sticker from Jess, and I thanked Casey for programming such a great site.
I've already put all of the new yarn into my stash, but it will be a few days before I have time to photograph everything. I did get some funky hand-dyed nylon for making a really cute purse. I'll probably post pictures of that if I actually get to it in 2008 -- the Great Knitted Christmas Gift Marathon has begun and I'm going to try to focus only on knitting gifts until I've finished everything on my list. We'll see how long I manage that.
I'm working on a very cute Noro hat right now that's almost done. It's a great pattern for brainless knitting. More on that and other works in progress at a later date. Oh yeah, I got some awesome beads to make stitch markers for my store! More on that later as well.
Finally, because I promised my friend Kelly:
GETTING MARRIED? NEED DESIGN HELP? Get some awesome wedding related items at Busy Bride Designs. Kelly will help create a customized look for your wedding without busting your budget. She's got some monogram designs up already and I happen to know she has a lot of other great wedding designs and favors in the works. Check it out!
Thursday, July 24, 2008
My Awesome Husband And His Car
Lest anyone think I don't completely adore my husband based on my recent posts mocking his crazy car buying saga, let me reassure you that he is indeed awesome. He's funny, nice, a great friend, cute in a dorky way, a terrific father, and an excellent husband and head of the family. He just does a lot of hilariously ridiculous things. I can't help but laugh about it, and one of the things I love about him is that he can laugh at himself.
And now, I know you've all been waiting for these!
The family in front of Jim's new car. Look how happy they are! It was poring rain, so these aren't the best photos, I'm afraid.
Lily in the back seat, refusing to be photographed.
Hammy McHam hamming it up for the camera, as usual.
In a more serious moment, Jim reads his manual to find out how to operate the stereo system.
The part of the car that looks like an airplane cockpit. No wonder Jim needs to read the manual.
The funky little speedometer. Or is it a tachometer? I don't know, who am I kidding?
Side view. The Dorkmobile!
The kids in the back seat!
Hammy in the back seat.
The proud car owner.
A view of the steering wheel.
Lily really did name this car Jedi. Jim's off now to show it to all of his friends. He is as excited as a kid on Christmas and I'm happy so for him. He works pretty hard and he deserves a nice man toy. Even if it's a Dorkmobile.
And now, I know you've all been waiting for these!
The family in front of Jim's new car. Look how happy they are! It was poring rain, so these aren't the best photos, I'm afraid.
Lily in the back seat, refusing to be photographed.
Hammy McHam hamming it up for the camera, as usual.
In a more serious moment, Jim reads his manual to find out how to operate the stereo system.
The part of the car that looks like an airplane cockpit. No wonder Jim needs to read the manual.
The funky little speedometer. Or is it a tachometer? I don't know, who am I kidding?
Side view. The Dorkmobile!
The kids in the back seat!
Hammy in the back seat.
The proud car owner.
A view of the steering wheel.Lily really did name this car Jedi. Jim's off now to show it to all of his friends. He is as excited as a kid on Christmas and I'm happy so for him. He works pretty hard and he deserves a nice man toy. Even if it's a Dorkmobile.
Baking Cookies
I am famous amongst my family and friends for my inability to cook. For those who don't know me, you may think I *could* cook if I really tried, but my friends and family know that I truly am a hopeless case when it comes to whipping up something on the stove.
That being said, I can bake with the best of them. I love baking and find it very relaxing. One of my fondest memories of childhood is baking with my mom (Hi, Mom!). Jim remembers the same with his mom, so I make an effort to bake with the kids a few times a month. Today was baking day.
We tried out a new recipe today: Nestle's White Chip Chocolate Cookies. The kids have never used baking cocoa before, so they insisted on tasting it even though I told them it was bitter. Jack said "It YUCKY mama!" Lily claimed it tasted sweet to her and tried to get Jack to taste it some more. Very sneaky, but he didn't fall for her trick. I think the initial taste was once too often for him!
I let them dump some of the dry ingredients into the bowl, and they take turns mixing them together with a whisk. We all get to taste the batter when it's done. Jack licks the beater and Lily licks the rubber spatula. (For those of you who worry about them eating raw eggs, all I can say is that my brother and I licked the spoons when we were little and we're still here, so how bad can it be?) Sometimes they help me spoon the cookies onto the sheet, but today they were too busy licking to help out. When I handed him the spoon, Jack said nervously "It still yucky, mama?" before he tasted it!
After I put the cookies in to bake, I told the kids to play in the playroom until the first batch was done and cooled, and then we would have a cookie and a glass of milk for snack. Lily went downstairs with Jack. A few minutes later, Jack came back into the kitchen.
"It ready now, mama?" "No." He went to play in his room. For about 15 seconds. I heard his little bare feet trotting across the dining room. "It ready NOW, mama?" "Nope, I let you know. Go play in your room." He disappeared for another 15 seconds and then I heard his footsteps again. "It ready NOW, mama?"
We repeated this scene 10 times. I know this because I counted. Boy loves his chocolate cookies!
When they came out of the oven, I noticed they didn't flatten out like Toll House cookies do. They were still lumpy little piles of dough, except that, having baked, they resembled steaming piles of turd with small white chunks. They did not look appetizing at all. The kids didn't notice and ate them anyway. They actually taste pretty good, if you can get past how they look.
That being said, I can bake with the best of them. I love baking and find it very relaxing. One of my fondest memories of childhood is baking with my mom (Hi, Mom!). Jim remembers the same with his mom, so I make an effort to bake with the kids a few times a month. Today was baking day.
We tried out a new recipe today: Nestle's White Chip Chocolate Cookies. The kids have never used baking cocoa before, so they insisted on tasting it even though I told them it was bitter. Jack said "It YUCKY mama!" Lily claimed it tasted sweet to her and tried to get Jack to taste it some more. Very sneaky, but he didn't fall for her trick. I think the initial taste was once too often for him!
I let them dump some of the dry ingredients into the bowl, and they take turns mixing them together with a whisk. We all get to taste the batter when it's done. Jack licks the beater and Lily licks the rubber spatula. (For those of you who worry about them eating raw eggs, all I can say is that my brother and I licked the spoons when we were little and we're still here, so how bad can it be?) Sometimes they help me spoon the cookies onto the sheet, but today they were too busy licking to help out. When I handed him the spoon, Jack said nervously "It still yucky, mama?" before he tasted it!
After I put the cookies in to bake, I told the kids to play in the playroom until the first batch was done and cooled, and then we would have a cookie and a glass of milk for snack. Lily went downstairs with Jack. A few minutes later, Jack came back into the kitchen.
"It ready now, mama?" "No." He went to play in his room. For about 15 seconds. I heard his little bare feet trotting across the dining room. "It ready NOW, mama?" "Nope, I let you know. Go play in your room." He disappeared for another 15 seconds and then I heard his footsteps again. "It ready NOW, mama?"
We repeated this scene 10 times. I know this because I counted. Boy loves his chocolate cookies!
When they came out of the oven, I noticed they didn't flatten out like Toll House cookies do. They were still lumpy little piles of dough, except that, having baked, they resembled steaming piles of turd with small white chunks. They did not look appetizing at all. The kids didn't notice and ate them anyway. They actually taste pretty good, if you can get past how they look.
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
The Midlife Crisis Car, Part Deux
NOTE: My mother informed me I was talking about a bumper, not a fender, so post has been edited accordingly!
Aaaaaannnnnnddddd the saga continues.
As you know, we put some money down to reserve Jim's Midlife Crisis car on Sunday. On Monday, he advised me that the rest of the down payment would have to come out of our family checking account instead of out of one of his bonus stock accounts as he originally planned. He didn't realize until Monday that his bonus stock doesn't vest until February 2009. On Tuesday, he advised me of his plan to take the money out of one of our 401K accounts. This plan was quickly nixed when he realized we would have to pay it back with interest, just like a real loan. After much investigation, he was able to cobble together the down payment from an old investment account that we thought was closed and our childcare expense account. His one job for the day was to put in requests from both of those accounts to get the money transferred, because it will take a few days. For reasons known only to him, he wasn't able to get that done today.
As some of you already know, I have a borderline psychotic paranoia about running out of money in our family account. We've come up short a few times in the past when we had large, unexpected expenses and I hate how out of control that feels. As a result, I need to have a certain amount of buffer in the account to feel safe. Paying for the down payment tomorrow is going to take us perilously close to dropping below that buffer, so I am freaking out. Thank goodness Jim gets paid this week -- I'll be able to relax until he replaces the money sometime next week -- assuming he can get himself organized enough to get the money transferred.
I learned some interesting things about him during this nightmare of car purchasing.
1. His estimate of how much money we carry in our family account borders on the delusional.
2. He appears to be blissfully unaware that they deduct things like taxes, health insurance, 401K, childcare spending, and educational fund money out of his paycheck each money. Accordingly, his estimate of how much gets deposited into our account once a month also bordered on the delusional.
3. He is terrified of driving on Route 1.
4. He can't remember the passwords to any of our investment accounts, all of which he chose, and he is terribly upset that I don't remember them, despite the fact that I didn't even know there were passwords to these accounts (guess what information I'm going to be gathering together this week?)
5. He grossly underestimates how much he spends each week on things like gas, lunch and entertainment. Grossly.
I also had an amusing telephone conversation with my car insurance company today. They called to "make sure you know James is adding a third car to your policy." I'm the policy holder, so they have to confirm it with me. I found it amusing because I wonder how often the policy holder says "New car? What new car???" I was tempted to say that myself, but I refrained. It did remind me of the second phase of the Midlife Crisis Car purchase, however. We've got to get Jedi towed away to some charity ASAP so we can stop paying insurance on three cars. This means I have to track down the title. I devoutly hope the title is in the safe deposit box.
Finally, the last and most aggravating incident in the whole saga occurred last night. My friends and I are planning to drive up to a yarn show in New Hampshire this weekend. Since Lily has a dentist appointment that morning, Jim will have to take the CR-V to drive the kids into Boston. That leaves me with the Mini for our trip. I let him know last night that I would be driving the Mini. We had the following conversation:
Me: I'll be taking the girls to NH in the Mini on Saturday.
Jim: Why?
Me: (explains about the whole dentist thing, see last paragraph)
Jim: I don't know...I don't want you to do something that hurts the car.
Me: (barely refraining from throttling him) Seriously?
You see, I have a perfectly unblemished driving history. No tickets, no accidents. my driving record is as pure as the driven snow. Jim's? Not so much. In fact, we are currently paying points on our insurance due to a little fender bender Jim had in the Jetta last year. I won't even mention the many dents and dings he's put in the Jetta, some of which occurred when he accidentally backed into the CR-V because he forgot it was parked behind him in the driveway. More than once. Or how about the time he stove in the side of the Chevette because he was "backing up but the car was moving sideways"? Or, infamously, how about this:
The Case of the Mysterious Bumper Damage
Way back in 1989-90, we lived in California, where Jim drove a vintage Volkswagen Bug. He was working and living about 45 minutes away from where I worked and lived. He would drive up to my apartment on Thursday mornings (his day off) and stay until Friday morning. Since I worked on Thursdays, he would hang out at my apartment until I got home. One day, when I got back from work, he met me at the door, very upset.
"Someone ran into the Volkswagen today while I was downtown and dented the bumper!" He took me outside and we looked at the chrome bumper. It had two vertical dents in it about 3 feet apart. "What would make dents like that?" I asked. "I don't know," he said. "Someone must have backed into me in the parking lot."
The next week, he was even more agitated when I got home. "Look!" he said, "This is unbelievable! Someone hit me AGAIN while I was downtown." Sure enough, there was another set of vertical dents in the bumper, also about 3 feet apart. "How could that happen twice in a row?" I said.
That Saturday, I drove out to his place after work (our usual routine). We decided to rent some movies, so we got into the VW to drive into town. Jim started the engine and then gunned backwards out of his driveway. As he backed into the road at the end of the driveway, I heard a bang and the car shook. "What was that?" I asked.
Jim put the car into drive and said offhandedly "Oh, there's a bump in the road there." As he started to drive forward, I noticed two metal posts sunk into the ground, both about 4 feet tall. They were spaced about 3 feet apart. "I think you hit those posts!" I said.
Jim stopped the car. "What posts?" I pointed. He pulled the car back into his driveway and we got out to inspect the bumper. There, glinting in the sunlight, was another set of vertical dents, about three feet apart.
"I think that explains the damage to your bumper." I said. "Didn't you know you were backing into those fence posts?"
He had no idea. And he's worried about me "hurting" his new car.
Seriously?
Aaaaaannnnnnddddd the saga continues.
As you know, we put some money down to reserve Jim's Midlife Crisis car on Sunday. On Monday, he advised me that the rest of the down payment would have to come out of our family checking account instead of out of one of his bonus stock accounts as he originally planned. He didn't realize until Monday that his bonus stock doesn't vest until February 2009. On Tuesday, he advised me of his plan to take the money out of one of our 401K accounts. This plan was quickly nixed when he realized we would have to pay it back with interest, just like a real loan. After much investigation, he was able to cobble together the down payment from an old investment account that we thought was closed and our childcare expense account. His one job for the day was to put in requests from both of those accounts to get the money transferred, because it will take a few days. For reasons known only to him, he wasn't able to get that done today.
As some of you already know, I have a borderline psychotic paranoia about running out of money in our family account. We've come up short a few times in the past when we had large, unexpected expenses and I hate how out of control that feels. As a result, I need to have a certain amount of buffer in the account to feel safe. Paying for the down payment tomorrow is going to take us perilously close to dropping below that buffer, so I am freaking out. Thank goodness Jim gets paid this week -- I'll be able to relax until he replaces the money sometime next week -- assuming he can get himself organized enough to get the money transferred.
I learned some interesting things about him during this nightmare of car purchasing.
1. His estimate of how much money we carry in our family account borders on the delusional.
2. He appears to be blissfully unaware that they deduct things like taxes, health insurance, 401K, childcare spending, and educational fund money out of his paycheck each money. Accordingly, his estimate of how much gets deposited into our account once a month also bordered on the delusional.
3. He is terrified of driving on Route 1.
4. He can't remember the passwords to any of our investment accounts, all of which he chose, and he is terribly upset that I don't remember them, despite the fact that I didn't even know there were passwords to these accounts (guess what information I'm going to be gathering together this week?)
5. He grossly underestimates how much he spends each week on things like gas, lunch and entertainment. Grossly.
I also had an amusing telephone conversation with my car insurance company today. They called to "make sure you know James is adding a third car to your policy." I'm the policy holder, so they have to confirm it with me. I found it amusing because I wonder how often the policy holder says "New car? What new car???" I was tempted to say that myself, but I refrained. It did remind me of the second phase of the Midlife Crisis Car purchase, however. We've got to get Jedi towed away to some charity ASAP so we can stop paying insurance on three cars. This means I have to track down the title. I devoutly hope the title is in the safe deposit box.
Finally, the last and most aggravating incident in the whole saga occurred last night. My friends and I are planning to drive up to a yarn show in New Hampshire this weekend. Since Lily has a dentist appointment that morning, Jim will have to take the CR-V to drive the kids into Boston. That leaves me with the Mini for our trip. I let him know last night that I would be driving the Mini. We had the following conversation:
Me: I'll be taking the girls to NH in the Mini on Saturday.
Jim: Why?
Me: (explains about the whole dentist thing, see last paragraph)
Jim: I don't know...I don't want you to do something that hurts the car.
Me: (barely refraining from throttling him) Seriously?
You see, I have a perfectly unblemished driving history. No tickets, no accidents. my driving record is as pure as the driven snow. Jim's? Not so much. In fact, we are currently paying points on our insurance due to a little fender bender Jim had in the Jetta last year. I won't even mention the many dents and dings he's put in the Jetta, some of which occurred when he accidentally backed into the CR-V because he forgot it was parked behind him in the driveway. More than once. Or how about the time he stove in the side of the Chevette because he was "backing up but the car was moving sideways"? Or, infamously, how about this:
The Case of the Mysterious Bumper Damage
Way back in 1989-90, we lived in California, where Jim drove a vintage Volkswagen Bug. He was working and living about 45 minutes away from where I worked and lived. He would drive up to my apartment on Thursday mornings (his day off) and stay until Friday morning. Since I worked on Thursdays, he would hang out at my apartment until I got home. One day, when I got back from work, he met me at the door, very upset.
"Someone ran into the Volkswagen today while I was downtown and dented the bumper!" He took me outside and we looked at the chrome bumper. It had two vertical dents in it about 3 feet apart. "What would make dents like that?" I asked. "I don't know," he said. "Someone must have backed into me in the parking lot."
The next week, he was even more agitated when I got home. "Look!" he said, "This is unbelievable! Someone hit me AGAIN while I was downtown." Sure enough, there was another set of vertical dents in the bumper, also about 3 feet apart. "How could that happen twice in a row?" I said.
That Saturday, I drove out to his place after work (our usual routine). We decided to rent some movies, so we got into the VW to drive into town. Jim started the engine and then gunned backwards out of his driveway. As he backed into the road at the end of the driveway, I heard a bang and the car shook. "What was that?" I asked.
Jim put the car into drive and said offhandedly "Oh, there's a bump in the road there." As he started to drive forward, I noticed two metal posts sunk into the ground, both about 4 feet tall. They were spaced about 3 feet apart. "I think you hit those posts!" I said.
Jim stopped the car. "What posts?" I pointed. He pulled the car back into his driveway and we got out to inspect the bumper. There, glinting in the sunlight, was another set of vertical dents, about three feet apart.
"I think that explains the damage to your bumper." I said. "Didn't you know you were backing into those fence posts?"
He had no idea. And he's worried about me "hurting" his new car.
Seriously?
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Return of the Jedi
Ever since Jedi died a few weeks ago, life has been pretty miserable for all of us. First, there's sharing the CR-V. Jim will not take the bus that stops at the end of our street, for reasons unknown to me. As I like to point out every chance I get, I was riding that bus when I was 9 months pregnant in the summer and I survived. As a result, I have to get the kids together and drive him to the subway every morning, and then repeat the trip in the evening to bring him home. It's annoying, and not just to me -- just a few days ago, Lily said "I liked it better when Papa came home by himself." Me too, sweetie, me too.
Second, we have been Shopping For Cars. I capitalize the phrase because Jim's involvement in the Shopping makes it a major event. For those who are interested, this is how he does it. Step 1: he tells me he wants a Cooper Mini. I say "If that's what you want, then get that one. Just keep in mind our budget and don't go crazy."
Step 2: he spends a week exhaustively researching every car known to man, including the Mini. Each night he explains to me why it would make more sense for him to get a Mini. Each night I tell him to get one, keeping in mind our budget. The nightly conversation always involves me having to look at a bunch of car websites so I can read statistics and reviews. Ugh.
Step 3: he narrows his choice down to three cars: the Mini, the Fit and the xD. He spends a week exhaustively re-researching those three cars, discussing why a Mini is the best choice and forcing me to look at more websites. I tell him to get the Mini. There might be a few tears of frustration in my eyes.
Step 4: he makes plans to visit three dealerships and insists that I come with him, which means we have to bring the kids. Our visits do not go well, and only one dealership actually has a car he can test drive. I am left to entertain two sweaty, whining, tired children in a dealership showroom while Jim inspects cars and goes on air-conditioned test drives. Have you ever been in a dealership showroom? It has cars and desks. The kids tired of looking at them in about 12 seconds. I practically beg him to buy any car we see that falls within our budget just to avoid making this trip again. Ever.
Step 5: after agonizing all evening and consulting with friends (who of course tell him he should get whatever he wants) he decides he is getting the Mini, thus requiring us to make a fourth visit to a dealership in Boston. We arrive to learn that they have pulled a bait and switch on us. "Oh, those three cars that were available right before we closed last night? Wow, I guess they sold out right after you called, but we do have this incredibly expensive, fully loaded alternatives right here!" Ha ha ha, so amusing. As a result, we have to haul the kids back to one of the first three dealerships we visited to reconsider some of the options there.
Step 6: Jim sits back and looks smug as I plead with him to spend as much as he wants on one of the available cars as long as we don't have to take the kids to any more dealerships.
Step 7: Jim purchases a car that costs $5,000 more than the outside limit of what we originally agreed to spend. He gets a British Racing Green Mini, fully loaded with a sports package (leather seats, chrome exhaust tips, fancy tires), a sound system upgrade and a "heating/cooling" package which apparently includes automatic air conditioning, heated seats and heated side-view mirrors (God forbid he should have to actually knock snow off the car). It has white racing stripes that I find hideous, but he seems to love them. The inside looks like the cockpit of a small private jet.
I'm calling it his mid-life crisis car. Lily calls it Jedi because it's green like the Jetta. Jack doesn't have an opinion so far. Jim is off to brag about his sports car to his friends. He's so excited, he's like a little kid on Christmas Eve.
I hope I get to drive it sometime....
Second, we have been Shopping For Cars. I capitalize the phrase because Jim's involvement in the Shopping makes it a major event. For those who are interested, this is how he does it. Step 1: he tells me he wants a Cooper Mini. I say "If that's what you want, then get that one. Just keep in mind our budget and don't go crazy."
Step 2: he spends a week exhaustively researching every car known to man, including the Mini. Each night he explains to me why it would make more sense for him to get a Mini. Each night I tell him to get one, keeping in mind our budget. The nightly conversation always involves me having to look at a bunch of car websites so I can read statistics and reviews. Ugh.
Step 3: he narrows his choice down to three cars: the Mini, the Fit and the xD. He spends a week exhaustively re-researching those three cars, discussing why a Mini is the best choice and forcing me to look at more websites. I tell him to get the Mini. There might be a few tears of frustration in my eyes.
Step 4: he makes plans to visit three dealerships and insists that I come with him, which means we have to bring the kids. Our visits do not go well, and only one dealership actually has a car he can test drive. I am left to entertain two sweaty, whining, tired children in a dealership showroom while Jim inspects cars and goes on air-conditioned test drives. Have you ever been in a dealership showroom? It has cars and desks. The kids tired of looking at them in about 12 seconds. I practically beg him to buy any car we see that falls within our budget just to avoid making this trip again. Ever.
Step 5: after agonizing all evening and consulting with friends (who of course tell him he should get whatever he wants) he decides he is getting the Mini, thus requiring us to make a fourth visit to a dealership in Boston. We arrive to learn that they have pulled a bait and switch on us. "Oh, those three cars that were available right before we closed last night? Wow, I guess they sold out right after you called, but we do have this incredibly expensive, fully loaded alternatives right here!" Ha ha ha, so amusing. As a result, we have to haul the kids back to one of the first three dealerships we visited to reconsider some of the options there.
Step 6: Jim sits back and looks smug as I plead with him to spend as much as he wants on one of the available cars as long as we don't have to take the kids to any more dealerships.
Step 7: Jim purchases a car that costs $5,000 more than the outside limit of what we originally agreed to spend. He gets a British Racing Green Mini, fully loaded with a sports package (leather seats, chrome exhaust tips, fancy tires), a sound system upgrade and a "heating/cooling" package which apparently includes automatic air conditioning, heated seats and heated side-view mirrors (God forbid he should have to actually knock snow off the car). It has white racing stripes that I find hideous, but he seems to love them. The inside looks like the cockpit of a small private jet.
I'm calling it his mid-life crisis car. Lily calls it Jedi because it's green like the Jetta. Jack doesn't have an opinion so far. Jim is off to brag about his sports car to his friends. He's so excited, he's like a little kid on Christmas Eve.
I hope I get to drive it sometime....
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Justification
I'll just start out by coming clean and admitting I bought more yarn tonight. Two skeins. I really don't need any more yarn, and with the carpentry work we need done on the house (three windows need new trim out before we can paint) and Jim's car Jedi rejoining The Force, I shouldn't be buying it.
That's what got me thinking. Whenever I make an unnecessary purchase of yarn, I always have a reason. When I look back on it, there are a number of ways I routinely justify my purchases. I thought it would be interesting to list them out and really think about them.
1. I will use the yarn to make a Christmas gift.
This is one of my all time favorite justifications. Hey, it's actually necessary spending if it's for a gift because I will have to spend that money eventually anyway. Great justification, as long as I actually use the yarn for a gift. Sometimes the gift ends up going to me. Oops.
2. The yarn was on sale, so I actually saved money.
Doesn't this one sound good? I'm saving money! Yay! On the flip side, I could save even more money by not spending it in the first place. I try to ignore the flip side.
3. The yarn is being discontinued, so this is the last opportunity to buy it.
At first glance, this justification has a lot of merit. I won't be able to get this yarn again, so it's now or never. I might regret passing up the purchase for the rest of my life. On the other hand, there is always going to be more yarn. When one colorway retires, another will take its place. I will probably buy that one, too.
4. The yarn will be used for a specific project I have planned, so I'll be buying it eventually anyway.
In theory, this is a good justification. I know I'm going to make a certain sweater, so why not buy the yarn now, when I've just discovered the perfect color? In reality, it means one of two things: either I'm going to start yet another project without finishing the ones I already have going, or I'll squirrel away the yarn, forget about it, and then buy more yarn for another project.
5. I won't have a chance to purchase this yarn again.
This might be the best justification I've got. When I buy from a small vendor at an event, there is a good chance I won't have the opportunity again. I'm not big on buying things online unless I've seen them in person, so unless I run across this vendor in person again, I won't be buying the yarn. Of course, you could take this too far, but since I don't get out to wool related events that often, I think I'm safe.
6. Other knitters made me buy it.
Peer pressure. I like this justification a lot because I can blame my bad behavior on others! In reality, I think anyone who knows me also knows that no one makes me do anything I don't want to do. In fact, sometimes I encourage people to "pressure" me just so I can make a guilt free purchase.
7. This is an Authorized Yarn Purchase (AYP).
Every once and a while, Jim tells me to go ahead and buy something for a project. This is what I call an AYP, and it allows me to pretty much do as I like with no fear of consequences. Of course, just because it's an AYP doesn't mean I actually need it.
8. I had a bad day and I deserve it.
Pretty much the worst justification on the books. I have bad days A LOT. I don't think we can afford all the bad days I have. I only pull out this excuse a few times a year.
9. I'm getting credits towards a discount that will save me money!
Two of the stores I frequent offer a 20% discount after you reach a certain dollar amount in purchases. I am very close to the discount at one store, so I sometimes justify a purchase as working towards that goal. I try no to think about this one too much. If I do, I realize that I am spending money to get a discount, which I will use to buy yarn far more expensive than I would normally purchase. In the end I'm probably spending more than I would to begin with.
Today's purchase was a No. 1, 8 and 9 combo. I find that multiple justifications work well to eradicate any lingering guilt. If you'll excuse me, I have to go work on some Christmas knitting now.
That's what got me thinking. Whenever I make an unnecessary purchase of yarn, I always have a reason. When I look back on it, there are a number of ways I routinely justify my purchases. I thought it would be interesting to list them out and really think about them.
1. I will use the yarn to make a Christmas gift.
This is one of my all time favorite justifications. Hey, it's actually necessary spending if it's for a gift because I will have to spend that money eventually anyway. Great justification, as long as I actually use the yarn for a gift. Sometimes the gift ends up going to me. Oops.
2. The yarn was on sale, so I actually saved money.
Doesn't this one sound good? I'm saving money! Yay! On the flip side, I could save even more money by not spending it in the first place. I try to ignore the flip side.
3. The yarn is being discontinued, so this is the last opportunity to buy it.
At first glance, this justification has a lot of merit. I won't be able to get this yarn again, so it's now or never. I might regret passing up the purchase for the rest of my life. On the other hand, there is always going to be more yarn. When one colorway retires, another will take its place. I will probably buy that one, too.
4. The yarn will be used for a specific project I have planned, so I'll be buying it eventually anyway.
In theory, this is a good justification. I know I'm going to make a certain sweater, so why not buy the yarn now, when I've just discovered the perfect color? In reality, it means one of two things: either I'm going to start yet another project without finishing the ones I already have going, or I'll squirrel away the yarn, forget about it, and then buy more yarn for another project.
5. I won't have a chance to purchase this yarn again.
This might be the best justification I've got. When I buy from a small vendor at an event, there is a good chance I won't have the opportunity again. I'm not big on buying things online unless I've seen them in person, so unless I run across this vendor in person again, I won't be buying the yarn. Of course, you could take this too far, but since I don't get out to wool related events that often, I think I'm safe.
6. Other knitters made me buy it.
Peer pressure. I like this justification a lot because I can blame my bad behavior on others! In reality, I think anyone who knows me also knows that no one makes me do anything I don't want to do. In fact, sometimes I encourage people to "pressure" me just so I can make a guilt free purchase.
7. This is an Authorized Yarn Purchase (AYP).
Every once and a while, Jim tells me to go ahead and buy something for a project. This is what I call an AYP, and it allows me to pretty much do as I like with no fear of consequences. Of course, just because it's an AYP doesn't mean I actually need it.
8. I had a bad day and I deserve it.
Pretty much the worst justification on the books. I have bad days A LOT. I don't think we can afford all the bad days I have. I only pull out this excuse a few times a year.
9. I'm getting credits towards a discount that will save me money!
Two of the stores I frequent offer a 20% discount after you reach a certain dollar amount in purchases. I am very close to the discount at one store, so I sometimes justify a purchase as working towards that goal. I try no to think about this one too much. If I do, I realize that I am spending money to get a discount, which I will use to buy yarn far more expensive than I would normally purchase. In the end I'm probably spending more than I would to begin with.
Today's purchase was a No. 1, 8 and 9 combo. I find that multiple justifications work well to eradicate any lingering guilt. If you'll excuse me, I have to go work on some Christmas knitting now.
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