More Troubles with Gas

Remember how we had the gas company here? All day? Digging the giant hole in the street to fix the terrible gas smell?

Right. Well, after they left, an asphalt truck came and patched the hole. Not thirty minutes later, Lily said "I see firemen!" I looked out the window, and, lo and behold, the firemen were investigating the empty house next door. Again. The hook and ladder was at the end of the street. I opened the door to see what was going on and was hit in the face (there is no other way to describe it) by a wall of gas odor. As usual, the firemen ignored me and then left.

Jim drove down the street right after the hook and ladder left (he saw them driving down main street on his way in). I mentioned that the firemen had been here again. He said "The gas smell is even worse than it was before they "fixed" it." Those words were still hanging in the air as I watched a Keyspan truck drive up and park in front of the house.

It was like deja vu. The gas worker went next door, used his sniffer on the road and then knocked on the door. He said "Hello, I'm here..."

I interrupted him and said "Hello, Mr. Gas Man. Let me take you downstairs to look at my meter and the sewage line. Right this way." As he followed me, he said "Has someone else from the gas company been here?" I said "Why, yes. Two people, actually. And they spent the day digging a hole in the street, ostensibly to fix the problem." He seemed stunned. "Where did they dig the hole?" "Right in front of the house next door." By that time we were in the basement.

Per my usual routine, I threw open the door to the gas meter and removed the board covering the sewage line. I said "They haven't found any gas in the house here yet. They seem to think the problem is in the road. Where they dug the giant hole."

He says "I didn't see the hole." He sniffed around and didn't find any gas in our house. I said "Would you like to see where they were digging?" He followed me outdoors into the stench of natural gas. It was pretty dark, and the road is pretty messed up from the snow and ice, so I can see how he missed the giant square of newly paved road right next to his truck. Yeah. Whatever. I then went through the list of how many times the gas company and fire department have been to our street this week.

"How long was the gas company here today?" he asked.

"All day. Pretty much from 10:00 until 5:00 pm. The fire department showed up less than an hour after they left."

[NOTE: This is my favorite part of our conversation coming up]

"Were they driving a Keyspan truck?" No, they were driving a little car full of clowns. The clowns got out and dug a giant hole in the street and then paved over it. I'm so stupid, I thought it was the gas company. I think the orange wigs threw me off. Ooops! Sorry!

"Yes, they had a Keyspan truck. You know, the kind with the backhoe and digging equipment inside."

"Oh. Okay."

I shouldn't make fun of the poor man, because he's just the on-call guy and the fire department called him in without going through the gas company. Again. I guess the now overpowering gas smell really concerned him, because he made a few calls and the Keyspan truck with the digger and jackhammers came out again and dug an even bigger hole in the street around 7:00. This time, the hole was so deep the workers had to climb down inside it with a ladder. Jim had plans to get a drink at the Dockside Restaurant down the road with our neighbor Alex, so he and Alex walked over to the hole and checked it out before they left. Alex had to drive, of course, because the hole prevented Jim from taking his car out of the driveway.

The workers left about an hour ago. I'm afraid to go outside and smell the air. If they have to come and dig a third hole, it would be the width of the street, and that makes me a little nervous. You have to wonder...how safe are we if the fire department isn't communicating with the gas company about the issue on our street, and the gas company has to come out here and dig twice? And no one at the gas company who comes here seems to know anything about the previous calls....